The Guilt

This vacation taught me few many things which I would never learn from eleswhere. I still wonder about that day. Now when I recall that moment I cover my self from guilt. A lot could have happened. Perhaps I could have been dead by now. Or else I would have been thereason for a loss of a breadwinner.

Who saved me? is it him who pulled the break and stopped the car? Or is it the timing which gave him the sixth sense to sense an unforseen accident or is it the death who changed his mind and thought that this breadwinner should live more?

I freezed for a couple of moments. I was numb from inside out. I know that it was not me who stopped the car. I hit a tiny three wheeler. I saw it trembling twice and thrice in the air. Zillions of emotions penetrated me but I dont recall any. The only question I asked from my self was “is he alive?”

The crashed wheeler is 10 feets away from me. Each step is filled with guilt. ‘Let him be alive! let him be alive’. That was my sole prayer. I jumpped into the crowd to search him. But how? will he be injured? Am I going to find him in a middle of blood pool? Will he be alive or I dont know.

My whole body was shivering and I feel like screaming loud and loud. For a moment I felt like running away and then finally I saw him. He was araching to a short wall with a genuine smile. That was the moment that I knew I was alive. Everyone said it was a miracle that he is alive. Indeed, it is – a miracle.

But what if the car didn’t stop? What if I hit him with more strength? What if there was some one inside? A pregant mother perhaps? Would my two bare hands be capable of a murder. However they tell me to move on..and the timinig was good that every one is in good hand..but what if ?

I slowly walked away from the crowd. Walked down in a lane where there’s no one and cried until my guilt leave me. But unfortunately guilt is still following me like a shadow.

#SithupressΒ β™₯



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