It’s been ages since we met and now I have started looking at him in a different way. I can feel something strange, something new.. It’s like I’m alive after ages. I can look at him for hours even without blinking my eyes. It feels good after all but the question is what’s happening to me?
I went into the kitchen and pour a cup of coffee for him. Add a little bit of sugar and a little bit of love. I keep watching at him. He sips the coffee & he notices that my gaze is all on him.
He asks “Why?”
I smile & blush..can I tell him the real reason why I’m gazing at him? “How is the coffee?”
“It’s great… since when did you start making me coffee? so unusual..but I like it..”
I blushed again..see how far we have come.. and see where I ended up..? I have started to become like a teenage girlfriend who would count her fingers until he comes.. trying new recipes for him. trying to know what he likes and dislikes..
I let my fingers run in his hair and it took him by surprise. He asks again “What’s wrong?”
I kept my eyes on him for another couple of minutes and took my courage ” Do you love me?”
He chuckles.. and gives me a mocking gaze.. by looking at me..he realized that I wasn’t mocking like him..He took my hand which was resting on his head.. caresses it for a moment.. he tries to collect the correct words.. his eyes are searching for some explanation for our history and present. “You know.. I’m so thankful that I have you”
My question was simple and he could give a simple answer. My hopes are clattering in front of my eyes.. but my smile is the shield. The hopeless heart is breaking into pieces. It was clear from the beginning that hearts should not get involve in this unusual relationship.. but heart could not resist.
“I know” I say softly.. he left and said he would come again as always…And I ll start counting my fingers till he arrives again although I know that he does not love me at all.