Sometimes it’s really annoying to pretend like a grown up when your inner side isn’t mature enough to understand the real situation. I was missing the days where I just did not worry about going out even in the midnight. All I need was a good shower and a comfy dress and would pull back my hair with a ponytail without much hesitation. But now the times has changed. everyone have questiones. “you are not wearing kajol..is everything alright? you look dull? are you having problems with your relationship?” “You are not a kid act like a mature lady” ergh.. So basically I spent more than 2 hours in front of the mirror to make sure that I have not miss my makeup or my dress does not have creasers to show them that I’m a little concerned about my adulthood ..But inside me..there’s that old me who loves to go out with a messy hair and clean face and T-shirt or hoodies
So it was yesterday that I got this sudden urge to go the nearby shop to buy some groceries. Oh for hell god..do I need to put on my 1st class dress to go this shop which is 20 feet away from me? Definitely not…so I settled my mind with a pair of trouser and a comfy T-shirt. Just like the old days without much hesitation I pulled back a ponytail and did not bother to wear a single makeup..just 20 feets away..no one will notice.. It felt so nice after all to walk in the street just like a girl.
I put some cheese to my cart and then I noticed a very familiar face next to me. It took me only few minutes to realise that it’s him..i mean HIM..how come he’s here.. oh but god can someone please pass that Harry Potters’ invisible cloak?!… cause I wanna hide now.. It was such a perfect time that he turned to my side & I was staring like a dumbstruck.
“Oh it’s you..you look..different” after recognizing me he said with a confused voice.
Of course he has only seen me in high heels, and well combed hair with 2 or 3 layers of foundation. oh I think he saw my dark circles for the first time. This is so embarrassing.. I just gave a polite smile cause that’s all I could do… But I told him afterward that I stay nearby and I hope he would take it as a hint and ignore my dress code. But I felt he’s sort of trying to hide his smile.
There’s no words to express my embarrassment.. I mean to dress awfully in front of him. What’s the need for him to appear in this tiny shop.? But it’s not his fault right? Isn’t it mine? I mean I could have dressed a little decent? Like I do all the time these days. Either it’s a tiny shop or a big place. Don’t they always tell us to maintain the first impression and most of the time first impression comes from what you wear? I should have taken it seriously..I should have spend 2 hours time in front of the mirror today..I should throw away all these comfy big T-shirts and all which give me embarrassment all the time..should only keep the good looking dresses and clothes.. But I hear a tiny voices from my inner side “Keep them..don’t throw away..you love those comfy clothes..” Should I listen to my inner mind or should I keep pretending like a grown up…? But I guess both ways will not give me peace at the end of the day.