We decided to meet today. Everything felt normal but I find my self numb in somewhere. I felt like shutting all the doors and staying in the dark till this night ends. But I am already in the dark? Am I not?
I sat in a corner and waited. He came after awhile. It’s bit dark around. I cannot see him clearly. I never liked such places but he says “someone might see us”. So what’s wrong? Why do we hide? From whom? Are we those school kids who have to hide from parents and teachers? But still we hide..from whom?
In a way it’s good to stay under a dim light. He won’t see tears gushing from my eyes. Neither of us spoke. I heard his vibes. So did he. he held my hand. Millions of memories flew in front of me. I remember the very first day I set my eyes on him. I never imagined that meet up will lead me to a such situation where we have to stay under a dim light. But why couldn’t I understand the truth in between those secret dates? Late night hush toned phone calls? I did! Didn’t I? I just never wanted to admit it.
We knew it from the beginning that ‘this’ is not going to work out.But still we continued secretly. Why we risked so much for ‘this’? For what purpose? First it’s for attraction, then for laughter, then for loneliness and friendship and now for love. After all it was a perfect relationship which was hidden from our surface. Sometimes he became the only reason to wake up in the morning among all the other things.
But today I hold his hand for the last time cause ‘Love and cough you can’t hide’.Time has come to accept that that the best thing to do is to let go of the Love we cannot have. Time has come to take up our own responsibilities and walk away as grown ups. There’s a life beyond this dark night. He runs his fingers in my hair with a shiver. I bite my own lips to remind my self to not to fall. There’s a lot to say. I want him to stay a little bit more.I want him to say that we should not leave this dark or let’s find a way together.I want to run with him in the street like others do. But he won’t! He can’t! cause I don’t belong to his life..neither he belonged to mine. I dont have space in his. In fact I never had., even from the beginning.So he left! leaving me alone in the dark again. Leaving me in a pool of tears & loss.