Resignation

“This is the end!” I murmured to my own self. “I should start a new chapter in my life..I should quit this place” I fired up the computer and  typed a  mail-“Resignation”.

I thought about it a lot but I cannot simply continue this way of life just for the sake of a payslip. I feel like my whole life changed after taking up this job. I just wake up like every one else and come to work and stay up till late evening. I go home but I hardly see any one because as soon as I go home all I want to do is to have a good sleep. I rarely speak with my folks now. Where ever I go, it’s the work load which I remember. I watch TV but I hardly remember a thing. Was it about a cooking show? or was it about a serial killer cooking lunch?  I hear the beep noise from my phone. I should reply to all those messages. I’m tired…I ‘ll do it tomorrow morning..but I never do… There are bunch of messages which I am supposed to reply.

I had dreams.. One was I wanted to save a little bit of money and go on trek for couple of days. Do camping with few of my friends. So ever since I started my job I’ve been saving a little amount for my trek. Now it’s been nearly a year and I still could not go on the trek and my ‘trekking friends’ flew to another country.

Last week my colleague asked me “what did you do last weekend?” ..Then I started  to think about last weekend..where was I? I went out? ergh..Oh I woke up.and ..and…? Oh I had some pending work at office..so I came to office..My plan was to go home around noon..but I left office around 5 pm like every other working day. Then Sunday? oh I was so exhausted after 6 days of working week and I slept a bit more and by the time I wake up folks have gone out..so I watched TV till they return and replied to all those pending messages.. what I did last weekend then? I replied to my friends’ messages.

I got to end this.That’s y I thought to quit. I’ll leave this place.. I shall go on my dreamy trek..should spend a quality weekend with my folks and friends…  I ‘ll arrange my time..I ll clean my room which I haven’t done in ages. I’ll bake in the weekend..I’ll follow my dreams… The first step to all these is my ‘Resignation’. I just need to hit “Send”.  I already felt the lightness in my head but I suddenly got a call from my Manager. I though it’s good timing. I can tell him about my resignation before I send this.

He handed me another project to complete. It’ll take another 2 months to complete it. But my plan was to quit. There were no pending work for me. So I thought it would be the best time to leave. But Now…

I went to my desk… what should I do? Should I tell him? That I can’t do this. I dont find the passion and peace in this work. And my life is like a nightmare? The fact that I don’t understand how others have a very peaceful life comparing to mine? And also I am planing on a trek? But I think I can’t tell him now.. I need to finish this work. After all it’s my responsibility.Trek can wait but not work. After I finish this work… I ‘ll tell him all these…maybe …but 2 months?  A lot of time. No I can’t ..I ‘ll send this mail… I thought for another second..and decided..and hit on the button-DELETE.