Resignation

“This is the end!” I murmured to my own self. “I should start a new chapter in my life..I should quit this place” I fired up the computer and  typed a  mail-“Resignation”.

I thought about it a lot but I cannot simply continue this way of life just for the sake of a payslip. I feel like my whole life changed after taking up this job. I just wake up like every one else and come to work and stay up till late evening. I go home but I hardly see any one because as soon as I go home all I want to do is to have a good sleep. I rarely speak with my folks now. Where ever I go, it’s the work load which I remember. I watch TV but I hardly remember a thing. Was it about a cooking show? or was it about a serial killer cooking lunch?  I hear the beep noise from my phone. I should reply to all those messages. I’m tired…I ‘ll do it tomorrow morning..but I never do… There are bunch of messages which I am supposed to reply.

I had dreams.. One was I wanted to save a little bit of money and go on trek for couple of days. Do camping with few of my friends. So ever since I started my job I’ve been saving a little amount for my trek. Now it’s been nearly a year and I still could not go on the trek and my ‘trekking friends’ flew to another country.

Last week my colleague asked me “what did you do last weekend?” ..Then I started  to think about last weekend..where was I? I went out? ergh..Oh I woke up.and ..and…? Oh I had some pending work at office..so I came to office..My plan was to go home around noon..but I left office around 5 pm like every other working day. Then Sunday? oh I was so exhausted after 6 days of working week and I slept a bit more and by the time I wake up folks have gone out..so I watched TV till they return and replied to all those pending messages.. what I did last weekend then? I replied to my friends’ messages.

I got to end this.That’s y I thought to quit. I’ll leave this place.. I shall go on my dreamy trek..should spend a quality weekend with my folks and friends…  I ‘ll arrange my time..I ll clean my room which I haven’t done in ages. I’ll bake in the weekend..I’ll follow my dreams… The first step to all these is my ‘Resignation’. I just need to hit “Send”.  I already felt the lightness in my head but I suddenly got a call from my Manager. I though it’s good timing. I can tell him about my resignation before I send this.

He handed me another project to complete. It’ll take another 2 months to complete it. But my plan was to quit. There were no pending work for me. So I thought it would be the best time to leave. But Now…

I went to my desk… what should I do? Should I tell him? That I can’t do this. I dont find the passion and peace in this work. And my life is like a nightmare? The fact that I don’t understand how others have a very peaceful life comparing to mine? And also I am planing on a trek? But I think I can’t tell him now.. I need to finish this work. After all it’s my responsibility.Trek can wait but not work. After I finish this work… I ‘ll tell him all these…maybe …but 2 months?  A lot of time. No I can’t ..I ‘ll send this mail… I thought for another second..and decided..and hit on the button-DELETE.

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11 Comments Add yours

  1. spicepinkie says:

    I did the same thing long time ago. I did it twice actually! What happened last time? I gave up a well paid job and living in different countries months at the time to follow the dream of a lifetime. Today? That was the best decision of my life. Sure I do not make anymore that kind of money but I’m happy, I travel non stop and I love every second of it!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Sithmini says:

      Hi Spicepinkie,
      Yes I guess following what you want is the best thing to do..although most of us fail to do so.. Very happy to know that I met someone who is following their dreams without regretting about the job and others stuffs which hold us back… & also thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting.. That means a lot indeed..
      ❤ 🙂

      Like

  2. fluffysteps says:

    It takes so much courage to follow your dreams and to quit something that you do not love. I was once in a volunteering position that I hated so much, I mustered up my courage to quit only after three weeks. Now, I still feel like I want to quit everything else I’m doing and find my true passion. It’s hard and scary! I hope you can find something you really like to do soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sithmini says:

      Hi Fluffysteps,
      Yea..it’s a frustrated feeling to know that you hate what you doing…and sometimes we wonder whether to go with flow or to follow the passion. even I sometimes (now even) wander in that thought quiet often.. Thanks for stopping by my blog cause indeed it means a lot to me for this specific post. and yes as you said I hope both of us will find and follow our true passions in the near future. 🙂 ❤

      Like

  3. trablogger says:

    Hopefully one day by accident you will press the enter button to send and your will just become great 😉
    And we can call it lucky accident!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sithmini says:

      Hi Trablogger,
      Aww thanks.. so I’m waiting for that lucky incident to happen… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. trablogger says:

        haha.. if it doesnt happen in a long while do send me or someone else you trust, your boss’s mail id and other relevant details. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Sithmini says:

        haha.. y not.. I’ll keep that in my mind.. 🙂 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. trablogger says:

        Please do. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

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