Today is his last day at office. Everyone is busy with his farewell and he is running here and there saying good bye to every one & I am sitting in my place and thinking about everything. He’s leaving..so will we not talk again?
We were together for 2 years I think. Together means not ‘together-together’. We were colleagues..we are colleagues! I don’t remember how we started our friendship. I think we both had something in common. He greets me in the morning with a wide grin and a wink. I greet back with a delighted smile and I look at my desktop and then I blush. Even today he did the same. So did I. we used to stop by each other for coffee breaks. we talk..talk..and talk about everything…about work, life, love, people, movies etc.
Once we both were in a taxi and he held my hand for awhile. It was not an accident.. cause he didnt apologize neither did I. Instead he brushed my hand with his fingers. After that day I felt the chemistry between us. but we never talked about it. Everything looked same from the outside but inside I felt different. we talked a lot more. Sometime I kept staring at him and sometime I felt that he was staring at me as well. Everything felt nice. But we never talked about it.
I wanted to bring the topic. I knew that this is Love and I’m falling for him. Once I typed a long txt saying everything because I cannot put my courage to speak about it but I cannot hide it even. I didn’t send it. I should have done that. But I didn’t.
Days passed and I was patient and silent. I dont realize how things happened…how and when things changed around me. Because today things are different. He is leaving. Will we not talk again? of course we can. He has my number & it’s not like that he is going somewhere far where we don’t have network to reach him. But will he call me?
Today He came to me. I smiled as always. I saw a big envelop in his hand. He gave it to me. I opened it. It says wedding invitation. It’s his wedding. He’s getting married. I saw the brides’ name. It wasn’t me. It was someone else. I tried to say something..some words to congratulate him.. but I couldn’t find any. Instead I smiled. Then I felt something in my throat. I felt some words inside my throat..
“Will you miss me?”
Again I felt the chemistry between us. He looked in to me. I felt like he was reading my eyes. He sighed & said
“Will you call me?” I wanted him to say ‘Yes’ but he smiled.Lost in his thoughts. Smiled again & Left. I felt numb and lonely. Tears ran down through my cheeks and I had nothing left to do instead blaming myself. “I should have told him…why could not I? How easy is it to feel some thing nice and enjoy it. But why is it too hard to put it in to words and speak up?”